Thursday 13 October 2016

Documenting a loss | Simple Scrapper

It's never easy to document a loss.  However, I was prompted by a Story Starter from Jennifer Wilson's Simple Scrapper to give it a try.  Although the layout isn't perfect in my mind, I don't believe I could ever really scrapbook it perfectly.

I started with the story and used the celebration of life cards as the photo.  However, a photo really isn't necessary. Ali Edwards had a Story Kit named "Tough" therefore; I used elements from that kit to create the clean and simple page.

As I started this process, I realized that I would pop on Facebook Live and document the process.  Check out the video if you are interested.

This was hard.  The past few weeks we knew that Natasha was not doing well. We hadn’t been hearing much from her except from a scattered message here and there.  We knew she had a hard time texting and often it was her husband or friends messaging us.  She took a turn just before Christmas and we all knew she would soon find her way as an angel.  Every thing had been pre-planned.  We had been talking about it for months.  A bucket list, quilts and knitted hats for the hospital babies were being made, funeral favours and secret tasks were planned.  But when it came, it was too quiet.  Rhea and I met in Goobies to make the trek to Natasha’s celebration of life on December 27th.  Natasha was a friend that I met through scrapbooking and as was Rhea.  It’s this hobby that brought three of us together.  She was something special and the world is certainly at a lost without her.  Her illness re-ignited my faith. Something I never thought would happen. I suppose that might be her greatest gift to me.  Even after almost a year has gone by, I find it hard to explain to those close to me what Natasha meant to me.  I wrote a card to Ray, her husband sending my condolescences and perhaps that’s the best way to describe it. 

“Dear Ray.  I am a little bit of a mystery friend.  We spoke a lot but mostly by iMessage. Natasha was my every day.  Like a cup of coffee. Only it was an every hour cup. We have many stories but my brain is too mushy to think.  It wasn’t “good morning” – it was “what’s for breakfast?” or ‘ I am worried about..’ She solved many of my day to day dilemmas (how do you cook frozen peas?) She. Was. My. Every. Day. And because of that, you all were too. From the bottom of my heart, I am so sorry for your loss.”

And so, documenting her funeral isn’t exactly something I want to do but for some reason it feels appropriate. There was pink everything. And peep favours and a release of pink balloons.  There was a coating of snow and while as pallbearers, I could hear every crunch.  I heard every breath.  And I avoided every tearful eye.  Not ready to let her go, Rhea and I left to go home with “something missing”.   I still think of her often for many reasons.  Little reasons. Like… I washed, folded and put away three loads of laundry!  Every time I reach for my Lock n Lock Tupperware containers and every time I make frozen peas.  She’s probably watching me and wondering how I make it every day without her.  I really am not sure either.  But I am ready to live this life the way she’d want me to… we are heading to Disney soon where I am sure to meet her there.

Thanks for the lessons and the friendship Tash. Love always, Cathy.

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